funny posts

(Source: foie)

dumbasschronicles:

catesstrophe:

today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

working in customer service

awwww-cute:

My girlfriend’s rat dog doesn’t let me poop in peace

awwww-cute:

My girlfriend’s rat dog doesn’t let me poop in peace

meladoodle:

*taps glass to get your attention* everyone… i  look great

(Source: meladoodle)

pissfreak:

glad that tumblr has started putting random ppls posts on my dashboard, love it, thanks for this exciting new feature, definitely want to see posts from people i dont follow, thats why i didnt follow them

vvhitehouse:

aneastcoastbreeze:

vvhitehouse:

advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

  • instant cute outfit with minimal effort
  • it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
  • sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
  • u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

Guys think they’re totally not cute lol

the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus

stop-chicken-nugget-abuse:

nevvzealand:

happy birthday someone

I like reblogging this becaUSE WHAT IF YOU SAW THIS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE

meghanbluebird:

discovergeneralmills:

Walk in.
See this.
Wat do?

Depends, do you own a dog?

meghanbluebird:

discovergeneralmills:

Walk in.

See this.

Wat do?

Depends, do you own a dog?

(Source: play-0n-playa)

juilan:

jakemalik:

jakemalik:

I have a foot long of gum here and I planning on eating it all at once right now

image

this was a terrible idea

image

image

(Source: hi)

sugarysymbiote:

mrsmiawallaces:

This Vine gives me life

THE WAY HOMEBOY WAS HARMONIZING AT THE END OH MY FUCKING GOD~

witchpop:

*announces my pregnancy at your funeral to shift the attention around to me*

(Source: yoncevevo)

luteylumi:

This speaks to me on an emotional level.

luteylumi:

This speaks to me on an emotional level.

meta18:

aphdenmark:

when will ppl shut up about that ice movie

ice age was good fuck off

janemba:

*is a wreck*

*gives ppl lifestyle advice*